so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
