I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
