stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Randomize
