I will die if light touches me.
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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