Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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