no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
