o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
