So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
