I molested 6 butterflies tonight
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Randomize
