this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Randomize
