Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
