u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
