Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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