There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
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