Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
