her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Randomize
