We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
