So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
