Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
