therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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