two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Randomize
