im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
