I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
Randomize
