Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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