Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
