Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
