I must be too annoying 4 u.
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Randomize
