You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Randomize
