I wannas sexs uuuuu
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize
