I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I wish you could order shots online.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
