I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize