I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
