How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Randomize
