If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
