Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
