Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
