I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Randomize
