perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
