Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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