Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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