people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
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