We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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