one might say we're banned from that church
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
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