I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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