It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Randomize
