Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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