at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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