I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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