Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
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