Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Randomize
