It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
i now understand why vodka
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
