If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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