I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Randomize
