ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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