How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Randomize
