i would punch a child for taco bell
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
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