Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
