my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Randomize
