Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
