He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
